Current mood:

hopeful

so long, 2008;

I remembered how i ended 2007 with a post saying it was a roller-coaster ride.
& wow now 2008 is coming to an end, and life's a roller-coaster ride, still.

2008 hasnt been easy, at all.
Firstly, accepting the A Levels result.
Secondly, the necessary changes in life - Stop working at FCUK & making new friends all over again in SIM.
Thirdly, falling down yet again adding injury to the already bruised heart.

Initially, i wasnt looking forward to start of Uni life.
Bcos what i visioned were all just illusions.
After sec sch life ended, my clique and i decided to go YJ tgt, to finish A's tgt and get into NUS tgt.
yeah that was the naive thinking on our part.
Unfortunately, only one of us made it.
One went to poly after J1, one retained, one moved on to NUS and here i am in SIM.
I regretted going into JC, we regretted.
I hated how i only went JC for my dad.

But after listening to myself,
i realised im just holding onto what i should have let go off already.

And so after the first week of school,
god, school's not as bad as i thought.
I made a whole lot of great friends in school ;) and i never felt more thankful.

Talking about friends,
I too made alot of friends outside school and some of them became important people in my life now and they know who they are.

And i still LOVEEEE the current friends & cuzzies that have always stood by me, rain or shine. <3

Here comes the but. Theres always a but isnt it?
But i've also got friends drifting away from me that i constantly try to stop it from happening.
Some i managed to salvage but some of them were either too challenging or i found no point in trying too hard.


Then there is the part where i was on cloud nine,
because i thought i found someone i could always turn to whenever no one else seems appropriate.
But the person who gave me all the hopes is also the same person who took them all away and left me standing alone, with just a 'sorry'.

This is also the part where i feel blessed because i have so many other great friends who love me as much as i love them.
Their encouragement and comfort was what i needed the most at that time.

I moved on like every other fall.

And finally, thankgod i did okay for the final year exams of my first sem.

Before i end the last post for 2008,

Im currently reading a book called 'MY STORY' by Dave Pelzer.
Its a book on child abuse and it got me reminded of how bad life used to be when i was a child.
Okay of course not as serious as what the author went through. Mine was probably just 1/100 of what he went through.
But like what i read in the book, its true, child abuse can be in many forms.
Be it emotionally and physically.
I can vaguely remember how the physical pain felt like, but sometimes, i can still remember how it hurts emotionally.

Im saying this because i want to remind myself again that,
im so fortunate that life has changed so much, and i really mean so much that im starting to take the easy life for granted.
Life at home is so much better now, in fact much more fortunate than many others.

Sometimes i cant help but feel disgusted at how others breakdown over small little problems and look at it as if their problems were the worst in the world.
And i cant be bothered to correct people who  judge me from what they see now because they dont know how much i've been through to get where i am now.

So no matter how bad 2008 has been, life has been getting better, at least better than before.
Im not saying theres no problems now, but much lesser problems then before.
And im grateful for that alone.

Im gonna embraced 2009 with a happy heart and be ready for what lies ahead.
Resolution for 2009 : do more meaningful stuffs rather than wasting time having fun already! (haha)

I hope you too can look forward to 2009 with a happy heart and start afresh,
keeping 2008 in your archives and learn your mistakes from it.
I've long forgiven what you've done, but i wont be able to trust you anymore.

with that,

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYZ! <3

Hello 2009.

(:

XOXO